


Not In The Contract

by malicioussocks



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Bodyguard, Gay Panic, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Limousine Sex, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malicioussocks/pseuds/malicioussocks
Summary: Jeremy is the bodyguard of one Ryan Haywood, a secret prince betrothed to the president's daughter. But Ryan's in love with the wrong person.
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley/Ryan Haywood
Comments: 15
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I asked on Tumblr which of my ideas I should write and you said all of them so...

It was a weird feeling going through life knowing exactly who you are going to marry and when. From the day Ryan Haywood was eight years old he had a betrothed, one Meg Turney, daughter of Warren Lee Turney, president of the 50 states of the United States of America. There was a catch though, Ryan is a prince, a prince the world doesn't know exists but still peace must be made between the two powers as is tradition, so to Meg, Ryan must be married.

It was a weird upbringing for Ryan that's for sure, his father demanded he have a body guard even though no one could possibly know the importance of who he is and therefore he was in no real danger. Danger of walking out into the street without looking, danger of being the random victim of a mugging maybe but not put a hit out on you danger, nor was he in any danger of actually being targeted at all. He's been the root cause of about eighteen employee terminations so far and his father was starting to ask questions. He wasn't being particularly petulant but he definitely didn't enjoy being watched almost 24/7 by someone that's about 30 years older than him and paid to literally just stand there and occasionally reprimand him for attempting something potentially dangerous. Ryan wants nothing more than to have one night where he can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone he wants, just one night. And then someone said yes.

Jeremy Dooley was easily the strangest and most baffling bodyguard he'd ever been assigned, he's close enough to Ryan's own age and not scary looking at all. And considering when his father introduced them, at the age of 18, he had warned Ryan that this was the last one, so help him god there won't be another. And considering his track record Ryan was pretty confident in his abilities, this was going to be a sinch.

But Jeremy is a lot cooler than he bargained for and eight years later, looking back, Ryan was beginning to find a weakness in himself for this bodyguard, he was still determined to make them quit so that he could be free though. But...

Jeremy taught Ryan how to drive just because he asked one day.

Jeremy let him hold his gun.

Jeremy drove him out to the dessert one night because Ryan said he'd never really seen stars before.

Jeremy played Uno with him during a blackout.

Jeremy let him try alcohol while he was underage. He hated it but he appreciated the opportunity.

And he did all these things whilst claiming that his contract doesn't specifically say he  _ can't _ do those things so he thinks why not. 

On the second day of december Ryan was called to his father's office and told to sit, he waited patiently and idly played with some decorative fake garland strung across the front of the desk. It was Christmas time, Jeremy had decorated the tree with him yesterday, it didn't look good at all and he thinks the maids redid it but he had fun anyway.

"I know we haven't really spoken about this," his father starts, almost making him jump. "But I wanted to let you know that the lovely Meg Turney will be of age in March the coming year so if you have any urges or ties to anyone presently please be kind to them and yourself and make them scarce, this is a big step and is very important for not only yourself but the family -"

-and yeah, Ryan pretty much tuned him out after that. He loves his father, he does, but sometimes he talks to him like he's making a speech and he can't stand it. Not to mention he has a major issue about a certain thing he said. 'any urges or ties' he said. And yeah first of all what the fuck does that really mean but also, was he supposed to have been dating in this time? Was that allowed? Is that not cheating? He is engaged technically so that feels weird to him. He decided to consult Jeremy… after this meeting.

"Son, are you listening to me?"

"Yeah dad, responsibilities, blah blah blah, I get it,"

His father gives him a long hard stare and Ryan almost convinced himself he said the wrong thing but then.

"I'm proud of you son,"

"... Thanks dad,"

Maybe Jeremy could wait a little bit while he processes  _ that _ conversation.  _ Christ _ .

…

In the end it was Jeremy himself that started the conversation.

"You're very quiet over there, you're not trying to break something or do something potentially life threatening and you're not asking me questions, what's wrong?"

Ryan doesn't say anything for a stretch of time but Jeremy waits for him.

"Hey Jeremy,"

"What's up?"

"If you were engaged in an arranged marriage, is it cheating if you date anyone that's not the person you're engaged to?" It was stupid of him to try and pose the question as if he wasn't talking about himself, it's not like the engagement was a secret.

Jeremy just looks up from his book and with a glint in his eye, says, "why, you tryna lose something before the big day?"

"No!" Ryan exclaims, his face going red. "I'm getting married in less than six months and I've never dated anyone, I've never kissed anyone, I've never had sex… I'm twenty six Jeremy, I feel like I've missed out on a whole life,"

"You're  _ almost _ twenty six Ryan, that's barely a whole life."

"But what are other twenty six year olds doing with their lives, they definitely would have kissed someone that's for sure,"

"You know what I think, you should stop comparing your life to those of people you don't know and have just made up, okay? Think about all the things you've done that give you that little spark in your heart when you think about it. Give me one thing you don't regret about the life you've had so far,"

Ryan's eyes drift around the room, desperately trying to find even one thing. At the foot of his bed is the small cat he and Jeremy rescued last year sometime that his father still doesn't know about. The cat is still the size of a kitten and is a total asshole sometimes but he loves her, he almost loves the story of how he got her even more. His eyes drift away from Loki the cat and over to Jeremy, who was watching him patiently. 

"I don't regret pulling over to the side of the road in the pouring rain in hectic traffic with you to save our cat, I don't regret that I still haven't told my father, I don't regret that I… oh…" 

"What? Are you okay, what happened?"

Ryan sat with widened eyes, frozen and virtually unable to process what he just came to realise. "I'm… not… straight?"  _ (And I'm in love with my best friend _ .)

"Okay…"

"Okay?"

"Okay,"

"Just… okay? Nothing else?"

" _ Is _ there something else?"

"You're my best friend,"

Jeremy smiles, a genuine smile that crinkles the corner of his eyes and makes Ryan's heart flip. 

"You're my best friend too, Ryan,"

And with the ten thousand worries that just took him out, out of nowhere, that simple sentence took away at least half of them.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Jeremy, if you're a bodyguard-"

"-Glorified babysitter is more like,"

Ryan rolls his eyes at the man "Then you must have a random skill that made my father pick you,"

"Yeah, I'm wicked good at video games,"

"That's a lie, come on, impress me,"

"No can do I'm afraid, I'm just not that great at anything, and it's not like it's particularly hard to be a bodyguard, all I do is sit in your room, tell you you're an idiot every now and then and occasionally drive you somewhere,"

"I've had 18 other bodyguards before you and every single one of them had a weird skill that made my father pick them, I had one bodyguard who could juggle and eat an apple at the same time, another who did professional racing, one could speak twelve languages fluently, and another who could make amazing wood carvings with a chainsaw. So what can you do Jeremy Dooley?"

"I can do a kick up,"

"Show me,"

"No,"

"Please?"

"I don't think you understand how comfortable I am right now," 

Jeremy did look very comfortable, he was curled up on the couch in his room, under a blanket with a book, looking like an image straight out of a magazine. 

"Is it something embarrassing, like knitting?"

"Knitting is not embarrassing, it's an art," Jeremy looked honestly offended for a second.

"Sure… but is it embarrassing though?"

"You're so annoying, do you know that?"

"One of my best features," Ryan grins.

"That's a stretch,"

"Jeremy! Just tell me… please?"

Jeremy ignores him, eyes focusing on his book again but Ryan could tell he wasn't reading it.

"Please?"

…

"Please?"

…

  
  


"Please?"

…

"Please-"

"Fine!" Jeremy yells as he pulls himself from his nest of blankets, "get dressed, we're going for a drive,"

Ryan is stunned for a second as he watches Jeremy leave the room, he doesn't think he's ever heard him yell, least of all at him, before.

Ryan catches up to Jeremy outside, spotting him leaning against a black limousine.

"Why are we taking the limo?" Ryan asks.

"I have to put gas in the other cars and I don't feel like it so the limo it is,"

"Fair enough," 

They drive in silence, Ryan is still feeling a little bad for pushing Jeremy, forcing him to do something for his own pleasure but, a little selfishly, his morbid curiosity won out. He zones out, thinking, until they pull up outside what looks to be a public gym. 

Jeremy stops right out front of the building and pulls the handbrake, parking the car and getting out. Ryan scrambles to follow and looking back at the limo asks,

"Are you allowed to park there?"

"It's a limo, Ryan, nobody is going to question a limo,"

Ryan still feels unsure but follows the shorter man nonetheless.

As they walk in, Ryan realises with a quiet fascination, that it isn't a gym, but a martial arts studio. Interesting. Jeremy swipes a card and opens the door to a more private room with some kind of vinyl flooring and a row of lockers against one wall. Removing his jacket as he walks, he throws it to the floor and goes about unlocking one of the lockers. Ryan waits and watches the other man intently, not wanting to miss anything he does.

Jeremy soon reveals a wooden pole.

"What-"

"Don't speak," Jeremy warns. "This is a bo staff, I do martial arts and gymnastics, that's my weird talent,"

Ryan wants so badly to be able to talk but he bites his tongue and does his best to hold back the onslaught of questions his brain is thinking of. Jeremy watches with carefully hidden amusement as Ryan fidgets and even opens his mouth to speak multiple times, physically unable to not move or even attempt to talk. 

To reward him a little bit, Jeremy starts up an easy rotation, spinning the staff in front of himself before moving into a figure eight motion. Ryan watches his every move with an easy transfixion. Jeremy decides to run through every kind of spin he knows; behind his back, under his leg, around his neck, shoulder spin, helicopter spin and a one handed spin.

When he stopped and looked back at Ryan, he literally applauded and Jeremy felt his cheeks heat up just a touch.

"I'm sorry, you asked me not to speak, but that was so dang cool,  _ you're _ so cool, it was amazing, I loved it!" Ryan gushed, then seemed to remember the rule. "I'm sorry, I'll shut up now… thank you,"

Jeremy wanted to hug him. "It's… fine. I'm glad you're impressed."

"It was amazing! Will you teach me!"

"I can try, I'm not a very good teacher,"

Ryan gets up and seems to be bouncing with his excitement as he comes over to Jeremy.

Jeremy does his best to show Ryan how to do a half spin and after some time and a lot of repetition of instructions he is finally spinning the staff with some amount of coordination. 

Suddenly, while Ryan was distracted with his excitement over getting the hang of it, he fumbles the staff and hits himself in the head. Not enough to bleed and he's laughing at his own gracelessness but Jeremy steps forward instantly to inspect the injury. 

Ryan stands still as Jeremy hovers on his toes to look at his head, he's running his fingers through his hair, it feels really nice and Ryan's eyes drift shut. When they open again Jeremy is looking at him with a silent intensity, still stood too close together.

But with one last brush of hair Jeremy slowly began to lean in, giving Ryan plenty of time to push him away and making his intention very clear just in case. Soon enough Jeremy's lips were on his and Ryan can't say he kept his cool, it took him an embarrassing long time to figure out he should be doing something with his hands and mouth. The mouth bit was pretty easy to figure out, just copy whatever the hell Jeremy's doing with his lips that's making this feel so good and voila. But the hands, where do you put your hands! 

After a very strong deliberation process Ryan finally raised his hands to rest on Jeremy's hips, he was feeling particularly accomplished and a bit like he'd just run a 5k. But then Jeremy introduced his tongue and Ryan pretty much went offline.

Pulling away with his hands still either side of his face, the shorter man waited in anticipation, inspecting Ryan's face for any discomfort.

"Did you know I've wanted to do that for a while now?" Jeremy asks. 

Ryan shakes his head. "But I do know it's not in the contract."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to write this for so long I gave up and this is as far as I got so...

"Your dad wants to see you," Jeremy says as he wanders into Ryan's room and flops down into his claimed armchair.

"Oh… are you not coming?" Normally Jeremy was present for most formal meetings with his father.

"I've been told I don't need to be there. Have fun,"

Ryan frowns but gets up from his desk to slip on some shoes anyway. On the short walk from the annexe he lives in to the main house Ryan ponders why his father would be requesting his presence. It's not like they don't talk, it's just rare that it's a scheduled meeting in his office rather than a casual conversation over dinner.

Ryan knocks on the door before pushing it open and peeking around the frame. His father looks up and beckons him inside, greeting him and telling him to sit.

"Am I in trouble?" Ryan asks, he didn't think he'd done anything to warrant this but he had to be sure.

His father pretty much ignores his question though, "remember when we had that conversation the other week about cutting ties and letting people go?"

"... Yeah?"

"Well I just wanted to make sure you understand the importance of what I said, it's not healthy to keep up with relationships or start relationships with anyone when it's so close to your wedding. I need you to think about your actions and how they will affect those around you and yourself. Do you understand?"

"Dad, I get what you're saying but why are you telling me again? I'm pretty sure I got it the first time,"

"Well obviously you didn't!"

Ryan flinched as his father raised his voice, almost dropping the device that was thrown at him to catch. Looking down, he was met with a frozen frame of a security feed from the martial arts studio. And yeah, okay, this was a major breach of the privacy Ryan thought he had but also, fear kind of settled in the pit of his stomach, mixing with the betrayal and overall shame of the whole situation. He knew. His father has proof that he made out with his bodyguard.

"Dad… I-"

"-It won't happen again, agreed?"

"... agreed."

"Good,"

The unspoken fact that Jeremy was probably going to be fired if they messed around any more hung over Ryan's head as he trudged back to his flat.

Not bothering to spare his bodyguard a glance as he walked through the door, he slumped into bed and pulled the covers over his head.

"That bad, huh?"

…

"Ryan?"

…

He can hear when Jeremy gets up and sits on the bed beside his curled up form.

"You wanna talk about it, Ry?"

Ryan pushes the covers back and forces himself to sit up, "My dad knows,"

"Knows what?"

"He saw… security footage from… from the martial arts studio," Ryan was trying so hard to ignore the tears welling up in his eyes. "He said. He said it can't happen again or… or… I'm sorry… I've probably just gotten you fired…" 

Ryan almost flinched as Jeremy wiped away tears from his face. "Don't be sorry, it's an honour to be fired for loving you,"

Now Ryan really did flinch, "What did you just say?"

"Don't be sorry?"

"No you said…"

"... I love you,"

  
  


...

  
  


It really felt like a dream, especially when Jeremy pressed his lips to that spot on his neck.

"Jeremy, what are we doing?" Ryan asks, breathless.

"I believe this is called foreplay,"

"No but, what if my dad finds out?"

"Shh, don't talk about your dad right now," 

"Ahh- Jeremy I'm serious!" Ryan whines, trying to pretend he didn't just moan in Jeremy's ear.

Jeremy stops his very pleasant rutting against Ryan's leg and looks him in the eye, one brow raised, "what do you want to talk about?"

Ryan craves the feeling of what they'd just been doing and was so distracted by the loss of it that he pulls Jeremy back into him and connects their lips. 

"I thought you wanted to talk," Jeremy mumbles between kisses.

"Shh…"

The back of the limo was, admittedly, not a very good place for this to be happening, but Ryan supposes if he had to pick one, out of all the other cars available to them, this one would probably be best.

Jeremy pulls away to slide off Ryan's lap, down to his knees on the floor of the car and between the taller man's legs, keeping his mouth close to his body so his hot breath fans across the material of his pants.

"I want to go down on you," Jeremy says and Ryan's face flushes at the bluntness of his words, his erection jumping too just to add to his embarrassment. "You're so attractive, and you don't even have to try,"

Ryan whines and his hips move in a quickly aborted action that makes Jeremy smirk as his hands move to open his pants.

Ryan pretty much stops breathing as Jeremy makes contact and drags his fist in a slow testing pull that has Ryan push more air from his lungs in a short pant before breathing in too quickly and choking on the saliva that just rocketed into the back of his throat. As he sits there coughing, Jeremy moves to sit beside him and rub his back.

"I'm sorry," Ryan says with watery eyes once he's stopped coughing, "I really ruined the mood,"

"Don't be sorry, are you okay?"

"I think so, yeah,"

"Good cause I'd like to make your eyes water for a different reason,"

Safe to say, the mood was not ruined and Ryan's face was very much the colour of a tomato.

Jeremy pushes Ryan's shoulder to move him to a horizontal position across the seat, and nestles between his legs once more but this time doing his best to line up their hips. As Jeremy leaned down to kiss him again, Ryan was once more having an internal debate over where to put his hands, is he allowed to touch? Or is Jeremy in charge right now.

"Ryan," Jeremy says quietly as he presses his hips up further.

"Jeremy,"

"Please touch me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep writing Ryan as an awkward mess I'm sorry


	4. Chapter 4

Following that night Ryan and Jeremy spend two amazing weeks fooling themselves into thinking that what they had was okay, naively ignoring any and all reasoning that it obviously wasn't going to stay that way. So when it finally happened, neither were very prepared for it, and even less prepared to deal with the rest of all the bad things that came after. Because if there is ever a lesson to learn in life, it's that when one thing goes wrong, the rest will follow.

...

"What happened to you?" Ryan asks a worn out looking Jeremy as he walks into his room.

"What do you mean?"

“You look like you haven’t slept in four days, and you’ve definitely been crying,”

“I don't know what you're talking about,"

"Jeremy…"

"I've been forbidden from talking about it, the issue is being delt with,"

"Why does that make me feel like the issue is very much  _ not _ being delt with,"

Jeremy ignores him. He takes a step towards the bed before freezing and thinking better of it, instead he sits in his armchair. Ryan frowns as he watches the other man.

"Well if you're not gonna tell me, do you want to look at my phone for me, it's glitched or something," Ryan flings his phone over to Jeremy who catches it despite the guilty acid burning a hole in his stomach.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I can't load any apps, they just crash when I open them,"

"You know that you're better at tech stuff than me, right? If you can't figure it out, I doubt I can,"

"Just thought it'd ask,"

An almost awkward silence passes as Jeremy fiddles around on his phone, knowing what the problem is but unable to fix it, both because he really doesn't know how and there's a very good reason for why Ryan's phone is in lockdown.

"Well, if you can't fix my phone do you want to watch a movie? And why are you sitting all the way over there anyway, you know you can sit over here? Do you want a drink?"

"Fuck, you ask a lot of questions,"

"Well?"

"Water please,"

Ryan smiles and goes off to get his water and whatever else he wants from the kitchen, leaving Jeremy to dissolve in his own pool of guilt, his stomach really hurt and he couldn't stop ringing his hands. Normally he was really good at lying, but lying to Ryan seems to be his kryptonite. 

Half way through the movie, where Jeremy sat with an uncomfortable stiffness in his muscles, and after an awkward refusal to share the bed, Ryan turns and looks at him a moment before pausing the film.

"Seriously though, what's wrong with you?" He asks.

"I told you, I can't talk about it,"

"When have you ever been told not to tell me and actually not told me?"

"Ryan, I beg of you to not make this harder than it already is, please,"

"Not when it's making you act like this,"

"Act like what? I'm fine!"

"No you're not! Clearly you're not. Look, I know you, and I know when something is really bothering you. And whatever is going on here, is really bothering you,"

"Ryan, please,"

"This is the first time in months that you've consciously sat away from me, you even refused the invitation. You came in here looking like you'd spent the whole night crying and now you're sitting over there acting like you're hiding something up your ass, so what is it Jeremy? And don't give me that confidential bullshit,"

Now Jeremy has been witness to a lot of Ryan's outbursts and rants in his time, but he'd never really considered what he would do when having one aimed at himself.

When he doesn't respond for a minute, Ryan suggests, "Did you get fired?"

"Worse,"

"What could be worse?"

"Watch the news, I'm going to get some air,"

"Jeremy wait-" the door shuts.

Ryan stares at the door a moment before blinking and with a frown on his face changes the tv over to a news station. He doesn't have to search for long before he finds a breaking news broadcast.

" _ -after a mammoth mistake by a seasoned bodyguard, America's closely kept secret is now public news all across the globe as everyone scrambles to understand the groundbreaking events of this evening. It has been revealed that America as a whole has been harbouring more secrets than even area 51 as a previously unheard of prince has surfaced along with the rest of his royal family. But all everyone wants to talk about is the scandal of alleged relations between the prince and his personal bodyguard. Ryan Haywood has opened the closet and been outed to the world, we'll talk more about this tonight at 6." _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew it's been a hot minute, sorry guys, mental health, amirite? Anywho here we are with this mess. I apologise. Also, just a touch of homophobia in this bit.

So the world knew. And yeah, it was a bit of a situation but Ryan was dealing with it…

The shower had long since gone cold but still Ryan sat, hot tears a bitter contrast to the hailing of water hitting his back, tiny knives bouncing off his skin like bulletproof glass. Heaving in a shuddering breath, another sob was pulled from his lungs, leaving him breathless, chest aching and stomach about ready to repeat on what little he'd been bothered to eat that morning. 

Ryan was dealing with it, if dealing with it was eating dinner straight from the pot most nights and spending the rest of his time curled up under a blanket and scrolling through countless articles about the whole incident. So far there hasn't been a formal statement made by the royal family and Ryan couldn't honestly care less, he was too distracted by the silence of not having Jeremy following him around every day. (Rather it was Ryan following Jeremy but the point still stands.) God it was quiet. Ryan couldn't stand it and it was almost Christmas. A merry fucking Christmas indeed.

Ryan finally emerged from the bathroom, clad in an old jumper and sweatpants that were somehow too long for him and dragged along the floor. He spared a glance at Loki the cat curled up in a ball on his bed and when tears almost sprung forth, quickly looked away. 

Possibly the most painful parts about this whole thing is that true to his word, Ryan's father did not employ another bodyguard to watch him. The irony of that being that he could probably do with security right now if the sheer number of photos circling the internet we're anything to go by. Sad right, he lost the best thing in his life but got what he'd always wanted. Pathetic.

His father asked if there was anything he'd like to say to the media crews camped outside their house and he answered with a swift middle finger to the air, which was met with a disappointed sigh. Any other attempt at social contact from his father was met with pretty much the same response until one night there was a knock at the door. 

Ryan almost let himself get his hopes up for the odd chance it was Jeremy barging back into his life but quickly the hurt settled back in his stomach in place of the butterflies. He debated ignoring it but figured he should humor his father considering he was bothered to make the effort to treck from the manor over to the annexe. Opening the door with a frown and no hint of welcome energy Ryan was met with the equally threatening glower of his father.

"We need to talk, you can no longer continue to ignore your responsibilities," his father says, not wasting even a second for pleasantries.

"What responsibilities? To be used as a bargaining chip, that responsibility? Or do you mean my role as the illegitimate son of the hidden king?"

"Let's not have this conversation out here,"

"Fine," stepping aside, Ryan let his father enter.

"Good to see you've looked after the place," his words didn't match his expression, Ryan could see his eyes as they swept over the room, and as they lingered suspiciously on the cat before returning to Ryan.

"Don't change the subject,"

The elder Haywood just looked his son in the eye.

"I know that you know you don't have to tell me, so why are you here?"

"Because you are being incredibly selfish right now,"

"Oh, am I now? I'm the one being selfish? Cause last time I checked it was  _ you _ who invaded the privacy I thought I had and spied on me and Jeremy! It was  _ you _ who has been forcing your traditions down my throat my whole life and it was  _ you _ who has since refused to acknowledge possibly the biggest roadblock of this whole situation. That I am gay!" 

"I don't need to acknowledge your deviance, I knew about it even before you figured it out. But as you so politely put it, this is about tradition. This entire family is about tradition and I am not about to be the one that fucks it up all for your first heartbreak,"

"Need I remind you, it was a heartbreak that you caused. Now if you would kindly get out of my house."

They stared at each other, almost daring the other to say something else before Ryan's father spun on his feet and exited the house, slamming the door in his wake. 

Ryan refused to cry.

He tilted his head back and rapidly blinked before almost blindly shoving clothes and essentials into a bag, packing a seperate bag for Loki and putting her into her carry case. 

Ryan has imagined this going a thousand and one different ways, from confessing his deepest fantasies to roses and chocolate but showing up one random night and hoping to God that he hadn't moved out had not really made it onto that list. Demanding Jeremy sit on his face, or hold him up against the door, or please dear god do more than jerk him off in the back of the limo, yes, but crying on his doorstep had been crossed out over a week ago.

But alas that is exactly where he stood now.

The door opened and Ryan wasted no time barreling into the arms of the shorter man who almost as quickly wrapped his own around him. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry,"

"I don't want to hear another apology out of your mouth, Ryan. Thank you,"

Ryan let the waterworks go then


	6. Chapter 6

It was Christmas, and Ryan was sitting miserably at the dining table in a place that was foreign to him, next to his fiance, and surrounded by their respective families while Jeremy was miles away in Boston, with his own family.

Jeremy hadn't wanted to leave but Ryan had insisted because it's not like they could spend it together anyway. He supposed he should be grateful Jeremy is not present because he doesn't think he could bring himself to go through with the proposal if he was. Despite it being an arrangement Ryan was still expected to propose, a sign of their consent or some bullshit. 

He has planned it for tonight at dinner and even though he wants nothing less than to say those dreaded words, he is especially on edge. The small box weighs a tonne in his pocket and the words he is to say sit heavily in his chest. 

Everyone had now finished eating and were waiting for the plates to be cleared when Ryan decided it was now or never. He picked a lull in the conversation to speak up.

Clearing his throat, he began. "Um, Meg?"

She turned her attention to him. He pushed his seat back and lowered himself to kneel on one knee.

"There is something I wish to ask of you." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "would you do the honour of marrying me to secure our kingdoms allegiance?"

She didn't say anything.

"I know we do not know each other very well but I would like nothing more than to get to know you better and-"

"No."

"What-?"

Could she say that? Was that allowed?

"I said no, I thought my answer would be a great relief to you,"

"I don't… understand,"

"This proposal is to show consent for the marriage, right? Well I said no, I do not consent to being married off like a prized piece of meat for the security of 2 nations that already reside among each other. We rule over the same people and it's about time we started acting like it. I will not deny myself or Ryan love because of tradition."

"Meg! I am surprised by you!" Meg's mother gasped

"There should be no excuse for knowingly hurting another in the name of tradition, times change, and all of you need to accept that,"

"While we're stating the obvious," Ryan speaks up shyly, "I might just add, I am very much gay. I am a raging homosexual and I'm in love with a man who-"

"Who is right here, and very proud of you," 

Ryan's head whipped around to see the glowing figure of one Jeremy Dooley stood in the doorway. A grin spread across both of their faces and Ryan quickly stood from his kneel to get to Jeremy. Closing the gap in three big strides he wasted no time in scooping the shorter man up, into his arms and giving him a cursory spin before placing him back on the floor and holding his face. 

"How are you here?"

"Missed you. And I didn't wanna miss Meg being a badass,"

"She is very badass, I never would have thought of turning me down,"

"Also, my flight got cancelled and I really needed to tell you something. Ryan, I love you,"

"I love you too, Jeremy Dooley,"

Connecting their lips in a sweet but passionate kiss they were oblivious to the faces of the scandalised adults behind them who gasped as Meg pulled aside a servant and kissed him boldly on the mouth. The servant squawked in surprise when she grabbed him, but quickly recovered to return the passion. 

The younger royals eventually returned their attention to their elders, ready for the lectures. But not before one last jest from Meg.

"And besides, I think you'll find that ring in that box a few sizes too big for my finger,"

Going bright red, Ryan looked down at the ring box still clenched in his hand before looking up at the confused but hopeful face of Jeremy. 

"If she's implying what I think she is -"

"You can say no, I won't be offended, I just saw it and couldn't say no." Ryan says as a disclaimer before lowering himself back to one knee. "Jeremy Dooley, my knight in shining armour. Would you do me the honour of marrying me one day and becoming the official adoptive father of our furry daughter, Loki?" 

"I would love to, you dork," 

Ryan stands to place the silver ring on Jeremy's finger, and he marvels at the purple and orange centre that seems to swirl despite being suspended in resin. 

"You totally stole my thunder but I suppose you should have this, it's not nearly as pretty but it comes with my parents blessing," Jeremy pulls a chain from his pocket and fastens the metal around his neck. Ryan looks down to see a woman's wedding ring looped onto the chain. It is beautiful. 

"Jeremy, I-"

"The ring has been passed down through the generations of my family to the eldest son, and I guess they didn't account for me proposing to a man, but they have assured me it doesn't matter so… why are you crying?" Jeremy's heart could have stopped when he saw the tears.

"No, no, no, they're happy tears, I promise. I'm just… so happy," Ryan sniffled, trying to stop the damned tears from falling. 

Jeremy smiled softly at the elder man and tried to wipe the tears away but they just kept falling. He chuckled at his own failed attempts and pulled him down to kiss him.

"No I'm all gross and snotty,"

"I don't care, come here," 

Jeremy kissed Ryan for a long time but eventually they rejoined the discussion.

"Do you boys have anything to say for yourselves," Ryan's father asked.

Jeremy seemed to sink in on himself while Ryan rose to the snatch the bait. 

"Father, I feel like it's important that you try to understand what these so called traditions are doing to us. I don't want to argue, I just want to explain. If you're ready to listen, that is,"

His father looks like he wanted to say a million things but he swallows them down and nods to his son. 

Ryan didn't really know where he wanted to start but he figured anywhere would work. "So, as you should be well aware, I am gay, a concept I only recently came to realise but I don't think that should change the fact that it is not something I chose to be just to defy you, it is something that makes me me, something as true as my eyes being blue. And I have tried for a while to change but the more I tried the more I felt like I was suffocating myself. Because to me, that is what I was doing, killing myself to try and make myself fit into the space you left for me. The longer I held my breath the more painful it got until I found air to breathe in the form of Jeremy. While I could breathe around you it was like breathing through a straw, because as I've come to figure out, conditional love is not love. You either love me for me or you don't. And I will not continue to suffocate myself or Jeremy or Meg for that matter just to fit into some insignificant space you left for us out of obligation."

Silence filled the room, and Ryan supposed it was the response he was aiming for. Jeremy's hand slipped into his and he gripped it tightly, squeezing the man's hand to reassure the both of them. 

"If you need time I understand but until then I think I need to go," Ryan says and turns to leave with Jeremy.

"Ryan, wait," 

As he turns back he finds his arms full of all 5'2" of one Meg Turney. 

"You're a lot braver than you think you are. Thank you," she whispers to him before stepping away. Ryan doesn't completely believe her but decides not to mention it right now.

Gavin joins then quickly and they all go to leave. 

"Son, wait. Ryan." The sound of his father's voice makes Ryan stiffen but he takes a deep breath and raises his chin to face him. "I feel like whatever I say will not be enough but if I don't say anything I feel that is worse so I'll start by saying I'm sorry. I was ignorant towards you and put my own need for perfection and tradition before my own son and it has taken me longer than it should have to see that. I will never be able to express how sorry I am for making you feel like you needed to change, and I am not going to try and make excuses but I hope you know how proud of you I am, because I am so proud. Not many people can say what you said."

"Thank you, dad."

"Now go have a real Christmas,"

Before he leaves, Ryan runs over and pulls his father into a big bear hug. He can't remember when the last time they hugged was but he hopes starting now he won't forget again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might do a bonus smut chapter but for now this is it.


End file.
